Nilda Stumbo

Ways To Handle A Narcissist Nilda Stumbo

Narcissists believe they really are that awesome--and you're not. (The latter part doesn't matter, narcissists don't think about you much at all, frankly.) Narcissists can be initially charming and a pleasure to be around, going out of their way to make you feel special and adored - especially if they want something from you. However, if you dare to anger or disappoint them, they can fly into a spiteful rage and turn your life into misery, making you feel like the bad guy. The narcissist can turn the charm back on, when it suits, leaving you feeling insecure and wondering where you stand.

If you have a narcissist in your life - whether it's a partner, boss, parent, friend, or sibling - it can be incredibly draining on your time, energy, and confidence levels.

This book on how to spot a narcissist explains that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity, entitlement, manipulation, and lack of empathy stem not from an over-inflated sense of themselves but from a feeling of inferiority and shame. Narcissists, deep down, feel 'less than' because their true self was never acknowledged or validated as a child. They create a false self to survive childhood, and that false self takes all their energy to maintain once they're grown up. They identify with the false self to such an extent that narcissists will lash out at anyone who sees beneath the veneer they've spent so long creating and polishing.