Theodore Moracht

Ads to Die by Theodore Moracht

Meet My Pet Hobo Marvin got the idea from dogs. Once some douche gives him change, follow the guy home in the hopes of getting more. He'll even do tricks. Ceremonious Comings A chronic masturbator, surprisingly, wins an award that will benefit all of humanity. (the golden supplement) In order for Mildred, in her eighties, to continue to attract men, she's willing to try any and all alternative procedures and products. But when she finds a company with a sweatshop of runny-nosed brats forced to make a supplement that promises eternal youth and a better immune system, she knows she's struck gold. Mall World: The Albert Wilmot Windfall A young man learns what it means to pay off those old family debts when his credit card is cancelled. How will he even survive? OCDTV Malcolm relaxes in front of the TV all set to watch The Order of Buttons (The Adventure's of Howard's Perfect Life) when the show is cancelled in favor of a trashy show in which two nobodies, together with Ed Wood reincarnated as a marijuana tree and Harry Stephen Keeler's brain in a China doll, get high and read a cheesy sci-fi story from the sixties, interrupting the story with comments, some of which are intelligent but most are not. Kind of like MST3K for books. dollaramavacations There are more ways than two to squeeze money out of a willing liberal during an election-just look for the lawn signs. As I prepared the final drafts of these stories, it occurred to me that they are kind of right wing. This wasn't my original intention, though I have nothing against the right. I wanted to approach the theme of consumerism as a disease that affects everyone, and imagined how it could leave the left particularly disfigured. I don't know; it was just an observation I made in the editing of this material. In any case, reader discretion is advised.