Darren Patrick Clancy

The Murderous Muttons Darren Patrick Clancy

With sheep practicing their Welsh and farmers running through fields with their pants down around their ankles, it's just another day in the quiet village of Woolton-on-Aran. Tough sheep Dick Mee feels the herd should take matters into their own hooves and organizes a gang to take revenge on the lonely, sex-crazed farmers using them as blow-up dolls. Mild-mannered Gareth Gonad, part of the Sheep Social Services, tries his best to convince the flock there's a better way to resolve the conflict. As the war rages on, farmers take cover in New Zealand to stay out of harm's way and in hopes of starting new lives-with more agreeable cattle. Gassy and incompetent inspector Windall farts his way through the murder investigation as aggressive chief inspector Breese threatens to take over if the twisted killers aren't caught quickly. The flock is forced to make a daring escape to India-where there is the promise of another village filled with conversational sheep-as the police close in. Will the wooly mammals make a clean getaway? Will the farmers be able to peacefully start over with creatures that won't talk back? Or will something stand in the way of their happy endings?