Lia London

4 Fumbling Fairy Tales Lia London

For those who have graduated from princess dress-up days but keep their tiara handy--just in case. Four short fairy tale spoofs, perfect for waiting rooms if you don't mind snickering in public. THE WELL-WORDED WISHMeet Princess Penelope, a wispy-haired, wise-cracking vegetarian who has no desire to hang out with all the gossips-in-waiting. Her father, King Abnegolde, would love to be rid of her so he can get back to his taxidermy hobby. Meet Prince Bumblesmutch, a thick-necked, slow-tongued gourmet pastry chef who longs to escape a life of hunting and back-slapping jokefests that require him to speak. His father, King Boarsbane plans to marry him off as profitably as possible. But though the prince and princess start out as pawns in this fairy tale, when they solicit the help of a magical mouse wizard, they find hope in a wish ... if they can figure out what they really want and are willing to fight for it!THE UNWANTED PRINCESSOnce upon a time, there lived a princess with hair as black as night, skin as white as snow, and lips as red as blood, so naturally, when every anyone saw her, they freaked out. Saccharine White -- the unwanted princess -- would love to be left alone in the forest with the spiky bindles, but when she bumps into seven well-dressed dwarfs with capped teeth and perfect hair, she knows she's in for trouble. These little guys are the paparazzi of the palaces. How can she get rid of them and restore some sanity to her father's castle?THE DAMSEL'S DISTRESSStormy Jane must get a Quest Permit from the DMV (Department of Majestic Vocations), but to do that, she'll first need to rescue a damsel in distress. No problem for a girl who can chew rocks, swim with lake serpents and sleep through thunder storms, right?THE QUEST FOR A WIDE-AWAKE PRINCESSPrince Jack isn't thrilled about the drippy, over-dressed princesses parading before him, so he goes off on a quest to find someone a little more lively. No such luck. Between getting attacked by spiky bindles and discovering the sleepiest nobility in the land, Jack is almost ready to give up when he finds a surprising ally in the hunt.