Jen Ward

Children of the Universe Jen Ward

I Once Was a Grape When I was a teenager, I used to write poetry all the time. I had a little shelf in my room that I used as an altar. It was a combination of rosary, candles, and statues that conjured up something meaningful in me. Poetry would just pour out of me. I felt like I was an altar in the world for others. It was dramatic and driven by the desire for love and God. I remember writing a whole series of poems from the vantage point of a grape that became aware that it was part of a bunch of grapes, a vineyard and eventually wine. It was called, "I once was a grape." It depicts the interconnectedness that I see humanity moving towards. One day my mother, who took very little interest in me and knew very few people, had a bitter friend who just happened to know someone who worked at the local writers and book club. He was a student with an analytical mind but seemed like an authority to me. She took my poems to him to see if I had any talent. His critique was brutal. He did not take into account the passion or the depth and merely focused on syntax and the rules of proper writing. He barely considered my obvious sensitivities either. The critique was another reason to go numb inside, except at a deeper level. I had felt this way often with external events but nothing that was so personal. It was like someone had introduced numbing agent to my soul. I stopped writing then. It was a shame. It was such a good coping method. The urge to pour out words in artful dance would emerge once in a while. But it wasn't until life had stripped me down to the bone and taken away all outer distractions like family and friends that writing reemerged as a joy. How else does one express such deep connection to love, joy, wisdom and truth in the universe? My passion for expression has reemerged. But it is funny, it is not shared to be validated as a writer, or wise sage. It is shared to give voice, heart and reason to all those out there who are smoldering in their passion and need encouragement to burst into empowerment. This book is dedicated to all the seekers, knowers, believers, dreamers, forsaken, discouraged, dismissed and bewildered. Here is to finding your voice, your truth or your passion. Here is to needing no one to give you permission to thrive. This book and others that I write are staking claim into the universe and providing safe passage for all others to explore.