Borne Wilder

Dead Nolte Borne Wilder

All Nolte ever really wanted out of life, was to commit a nice mass murder and perhaps get his name in a few history books. But an abusive, overbearing mother and a timid; self-preservationist version of Jiminy Cricket had robbed him of every opportunity, at every turn. As far as Nolte was concerned, he had wasted his life, until, a visit from the Reaper put all the cards back on the table. The only good Nolte is a dead Nolte. A lifetime of bad choices and debauchery had put Nolte on the highway to Hell. With an eternity afloat on the Lake of Fire, an absolute certainty in his future, Nolte was obliged to either stay alive or face the music. Of course, Nolte knew no one could live forever. Then, during a drunken brothel visit in New Orleans, he stumbles across a witch, who changed his mind. She sells him a spell, which will link Heaven and Hell to the dimension of Time, allowing him to rise from the dead. After that, things start looking up. On the third day he will be risen. But now that he's finally dead, everyone wants him to stay that way. However, Nolte has other plans and all he has to do, to make the spell work, is cheat a Canaanite god, rip off Satan, elude a Special Ops team of Archangels, get his key to eternity back from his thieving sons and stave off the End of Days. The good news is; he has three whole days to get it done. Although the rest of the characters in the book are fictional, Nolte is based on a real person, who was unable to rise from the dead. After allowing a few people to peek at my rough draft, having written Nolte as he really was, I was told, "No novel has ever contained that much profanity." It took me two days to edit Nolte's F-bomb dominated potty-mouth and insanely abhorrent ways, to the flowery verbosity of a Drill sergeant and basic, deviant debauchery.