Bill Schmalfeldt

Outrageous Accusations and Damnable Lies: Skillfully Told by a Brain-damaged Nobody Bill Schmalfeldt

One of the lesser-discussed symptoms of Parkinson s disease is irritability. I was diagnosed with this degenerative neurological disorder three weeks after my 45th birthday in 2000. I have 11 years of irritability built up inside me. That s why I enjoy writing. After 11 years of this crud, my walking is affected. I lose my balance and fall easily. My ability to speak is hampered. Most folks with Parkinson s tend to develop a quiet, whispery, reedy voice. Not me! A loudmouth I was born and a loudmouth I shall die. No, my affliction is in the area of clarity. When I speak, all the words try to rush out in an unintelligible jumble. If I slow down and think of each word as I say it, things go a little easier. But as someone with 30+ years of radio broadcasting experience in my pocket, someone who has spent the last six years as a podcaster for the Federal Government, this loss of the ability to clearly express myself verbally without sounding like Porky Pig is frustrating to say the least. That is why I enjoy writing. At this point in my progressive decline, it s still something I can do fairly well. And I particularly enjoy writing satire. Particularly political satire. Particularly satire that perforates the smug attitude of the American Conservative mindset. I find fault with almost everyone! (Makes me a fun guy to hang out with!) The religiofascist and the assured atheist are just as likely to suffer under my keyboard. Anyone who thinks he or she knows ANYTHING for an absolute certainty and beyond questioning is a target. If you read an essay here that annoys or inflames you... good. Read the next essay. You might like that one. Or, at any rate, you ll have something to think about. If you re the kind of person who has absolute certainty in your religion, your patriotism, American Exceptionalism, tread lightly between these book covers. Take a deep breath. They re just words. And arent words MAGICAL things? The offerings herein are divided into four broad categories... Dumb*sses Knuckleheads Media Odds and Ends. A full listing of essays can be found in the Table of Contents. Thanks to the editors at Technorati.com for providing first publication for the vast majority of these works. I take full responsibility for my own words, whether I meant them sincerely or not. And that s part of the fun about reading satire... how much of what you re reading is based on YOUR preconceived notions, and how much is based on the writer? Let s see, shall we?