Eileen L Cooley Ph D

Newly Widowed, Now Socially Awkward Eileen L Cooley Ph D

As a new widow, I expected profound sadness, but was thrown off-guard by changing relationships and unexpected social awkwardness.

I was upset with well-meaning people who:


- offered "words of wisdom"
- compared their prior losses to mine
- introduced me as a widow before I was ready
- failed to include me
- assumed I'd be back on my feet after a year

I was upset with myself for:


- seeking too much sympathy
- asking for help too often
- responding unhappily to invitations
- telling my story of loss to strangers
- sharing the worst side of me with my closest friends

In 45 essays, two voices describe the social challenges I encountered. My personal voice is overwhelmed with grief and my changing identity while my voice as a psychologist attempts to identify "what I can do for myself" to cope and move on.