Minhaj Arifin

How Desis Became the Greatest Nation on Earth Minhaj Arifin

Humorous Fiction Novel "After watching a TV show about glamorous people saving folks from drowning, I decided that I wanted to come to America to become a life guard. I imagined myself running across the beach to save lovely drowning girls. Sometimes I imagined saving three girls at a time who would be holding on to my two legs and one hand while I used the remaining hand to swim to shore as people cheered for me. I discussed these aquatic desires with my cousin but he warned me.
"In America women wear mini skirts and people drink alcohol till late hours of the night! Sometimes they go bungee jumping. They live for this world and not the next. What will you do over there?"
 I went straight to the American embassy and applied for a visa. When my visa was approved I was thrilled! I was coming to America! The beach was waiting! I landed in North Dakota." Why North Dakota?
 Because I had an uncle living over there. And here's the thing you need to understand about Desis. We only go to places where a relative already resides. This is why Desis have never sent a man to the moon. It's not because we don't have the technology. It's because we don't have an uncle living up there."